Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
