but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
