just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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