you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
