I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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