If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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