take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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