so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
