You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
