things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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