yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
