No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
