he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
