so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Houston, we have a squirter
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
