I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I want to be your penis for a week.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
