I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
