I'm eating all of the evidence.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
