Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
