Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
