Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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