Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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