can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
