I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
