12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
