You smell like stripper and shame
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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