So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
These tits shall not be calmed
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