You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
