On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
