i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
