is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
