My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
