Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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