I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
