I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
