My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You've changed since you got that strap on
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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