You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
