How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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