i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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