I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
