She is in my trunk
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
