no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
