I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
