WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
