Walk of Shame. In a state park.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
