its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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