I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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