you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
