She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
