blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
