Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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