You smell like a Billy Joel song
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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